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Guide to Mindful Speaking Proper communicating consists of two important components. The two components are the speaker and the listener. So when we talk about being mindful in communication, we are not only mean mindful speaking, but mindful listening as well. Here are some things we can learn about mindful speaking. Just like mindful listening, mindful speaking starts by dropping whatever we are doing and focus on what we want to say. You should speak with eye contact on the listener. You should not assume anything when you are speaking to someone.
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If you think that a listener knows something or not, it is good to clarify it with the listener first before making any assumptions. You can then easily talk to the other person if everything is clarified first. If you are a listener and you are unsure about something, you should clarify and verify it with the speaker first. If you keep on making assumptions, it is not a surprise that you will be misunderstood.
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Before speaking, make sure you pass the triple filter step. Reflecting first before saying anything is very important in communication. The Triple Filter Test, attributed to Socrates, should be done first to reflect on what you want to say. The first filter is truth. Are you saying something that is true? Do not say it if it is not true. Filtering to the second level is important even if you are only telling what is true. The filter of goodness is next to truth. will it benefit the listener if he hears what you will say? If it would not benefit him or if it would harm him, then don’t say it. If the thing you will say is true and good, it still needs to pass the final test. The third filter is appropriateness. For this test, we need to determine if it is the right time, place, and person to say what you have to say. Your motive for saying something is good if you pass your speech through the triple filter test and it is not something that has some hidden agenda. You should be mindful of a few thing when speaking. You have to be mindful of choosing the right words to say when sending the message you intend. Make sure that tone is right for what you want to say. Your tone can be friendly, warm, or hostile. Are you criticizing or judging? Also be mindful of your body language, gestures, and posture. Speaking in a friendly manner is very welcome to any listener, instead of speaking harsh words. If you find it difficult to be mindful of how your speak, just keep on practicing because practice will soon make you good at it. If you are already good at these things you will notice that your relationships will be transformed in a positive way.